


Liars

by emolittlebun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-02-12 16:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12963714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emolittlebun/pseuds/emolittlebun
Summary: "Lets break up." Jaehyun says."Oh."He still said it."I found someone better.""Oh.""You are always like this." Jaehyun suddenly raises his voice.Taeyong lowers his head and takes a deep breathe."I will pack up my things.""Please do. I have a meeting later, I'll go first."





	1. Chapter 1

"Lets break up." Jaehyun says.  
"Oh."He still said it.  
"I found someone better."  
"Oh."  
"You are always like this." Jaehyun suddenly raises his voice.  
Taeyong lowers his head and takes a deep breathe.  
"I will pack up my things."  
"Please do. I have a meeting later, I'll go first."  
Taeyong heard the screeching sound from the chair followed up with the door slamming. How sicked and disgusted Jaehyun felt towards him? He wonders. He is indeed that displeasing, isn't he? 

He looks up, gaze locked on the door, as if he could see Jaehyun's back view through it. Overly long bangs covering his reddened eyes and streaming tears. Luckily, he thought. At least he did seem less pathetic in Jaehyun's eyes. 

He gets his luggage bag from the top of the cabinet and starts packing in silence. His usual tidiness made everything much quicker than it should be. Or, did he rehearse this too many times in his head?

He zips up his luggage bag, his time to leave still came. He looks around the apartment he stayed for the past five years, probably after today, someone better will be the one staying here. Someone better that deserves Jaehyun more than him. He tries to smile, but tears drop.

Dragging his luggage bag, carrying a bagpack on his back, he walks on the street. He doesn't know where can he go, or where should he go. This is probably why he stayed on shamelessly, because he had nowhere else to go. 

He used to think that he wouldn't tolerate even a second of being cheated again, he thought he could protect himself no matter what. In fact, he wasn't. His pitiful inferiority he tried to hide all these years made him accept it, quietly. In his heart, he always knew, he was never good enough for Jaehyun. Just like how he couldn't understand five years ago, why would Jaehyun even liked him. Five years later, he doesn't even doubt why Jaehyun cheated on him. He doesn't need to find out more how crappy or disappointing of a person he is. He already knows enough. He doesn't need to remind himself how great of a joke he is. He really doesn't need to get himself compared to someone who is definitely better. He continued acting unbothered, acting as if it doesn't affect him a single bit. But it haunts him in his dreams, he sees Jaehyun with somebody else smiling happily while he drops off the cliff, down to a never ending hole. Countless times, he woke up in dawn, tears on his cheeks, feeling the emptiness on the other side of the bed.

 

He manages to stop a taxi beside the road.  
"Please go to this address." He shows the driver with his phone.  
He doesn't know either why is he going there. The address that he knew ever since then, but never had the courage to go. 

He must be on a roll today.

He reaches in front of a double-storied house. She must have been living well, he thinks. He reaches out his hand towards the doorbell but hestitates, does he really need to go that far to make a fool out of himself? She probably prays every night before sleep for him to never step near her again, to never appear in her life again. He gives a wry smile and keeps his hand back.

"May I help you?" A familiar voice comes from his back. Memories rush through his brain and tears start collecting in his eyes. He takes a deep breathe and blinks furiously, then turns around.  
He sees the face that still appears in his dreams, and another unfamiliar young face. Is this, her son?  
"Mom, who is this hyung?" The young boy tugs at her sleeves. The lady stares at him with a mixed expression. He observes her face quietly while recalling hard. She gained wrinkles, but she looked better, her skin looked smoother, dark circles no longer hung heavily under her eyes, she gained weight.  
He finally smiles, takes a step back, and runs away with his luggage bag before she calls out his name.  
"Tae...Taeyong....Is it you?" He hears it, but he continues to run. He didn't want to look back, he won't.

After dumping all his luggage in the motel he rent, Taeyong walks on the streets again. The sky starts getting darker, and it becomes colder. The cold wind hits on his face and passes through the thin fabric hanging on him. He walks until he reaches a bar and walks in. Doyoung is singing tonight. He sits at a stool near the counter and ordered some drinks.  
He listens carefully to his friend's velvety voice and let himself slowly gets intoxicated in the music and alcohol. 

After a round of clapping, Doyoung ends his last song of the night with a bow and retreats to the changing room. Taeyong walks out the bar after paying and pulls out his phone. He calls Doyoung.

"Hyung?"  
"Doyoung ah."  
"Yes hyung?"  
"Lets not be friends anymore."  
"Hyung you are not making sense."  
"Yea it doesn't make sense that a trash like me is saying things like that because you are supposed to be the one dumping me."  
"Where are you? What happened? Are you ok?"  
"I said we are not friends anymore! Stop caring! Don't you understand?" He yells at his phone and ends the call, tears blurring his vision. 

Just one last time, Taeyong promises himself. 

He waits at the bus stop near Jaehyun's office building. Jaehyun usually takes the public bus home. The alcohol made him dizzy, so he lays his head against the pole beside him. Its the last time anyway.  
"Jisung ah! PARK JISUNG!" A lady screams while running. She soon stops and pants heavily. Taeyong looks over her direction and saw a teenage boy running towards him. The young boy accidentally knocked into him and hurriedy apologised. He sees the boy running across the road without even looking at the traffic lights nor the cars. 

Shifting his gaze towards the traffic, his pupils enlargen at the sight of a car speeding towards the boy with no sign of slowing down.Taeyong tightens his fist and runs as fast as he could towards the boy in the middle of the road. When he's close enough, he pushes the boy away with all his might. 

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

He could feel his body smashed hard by the car and being lifted in the air next. Landing, his head knocks hard onto the tar road. Blood, he can feel blood flowing out. Everything feels blurry and dizzy, also noisy. He can hear the cries from people around. He tries to smile to the sobbing boy next to him, although he can't see him clearly. He knows clearly he is not a hero, he is not a real kind person who would die to save somebody else. He is trash, he wouldn't. In fact, he knew. From the moment he starts running, he knows he will die. He has hemophilia, the wounds he get inside and outside his body after getting hit by a car will bring him to death for sure. He did it on purpose, but if he could save someone during that, why not? He would die anyway, he planned to. Just that, he didn't get to see Jaehyun for the last time. 

Somebody suddenly pulls him into his arms. Why does it feel so familiar? Taeyong wonders, it smells like Jaehyun. He uses his remaining strength to look up. It really is Jaehyun, he must be in hallucination. Water drips onto his face, is it tears? Is his Jaehyun crying? He tries to give a smile, but all his taste is blood in his mouth.  
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." Jaehyun mumbles, body shaking in fear.  
"Promise me, you'll be alright. Please don't leave me." Jaehyun holds his hands tightly, tears flowing down his cheeks.  
Taeyong shakes his head.  
"I don't want to anymore Jaehyun ah...Mom lied...You all lied...Your dumped me..."  
He feels his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Is this the feeling of dying? The sounds around him gets weaker and weaker. A tear streams down his face.

He closes his eyes.  
His mind flashes back when he was still a kid, when he still had a mom. She would hugged him in her arms, saying that she love him the most in the entire world and he is the only one she needs in life.  
It fast forward to when his mom brought him to an orphanage, promising him she would be back, and asked him to wait for her.  
It moves on to his adolescence time, he grew up in the orphanage, his mom never came back. He became very withdrawn.  
Doyoung, that dummy always tried to protect him, getting bruises everywhere from fighting.  
17 years old, he met Jaehyun, when he was working part time in a cafe. He was being scolded and humiliated by a customer for an extremely dumb reason that the coffee was too bitter. Thats when Jaehyun stood up for him, and gave him a reassuring smile, showing his dimples.  
After being a frequent customer in the cafe, Jaehyun asked him out one day. He nodded.  
They were deeply in love, Jaehyun bought him a ring, and put it on for him. Jaehyun said, he loves him and wants to be with him forever. He cried.  
They fought, or actually they didn't, because he wouldn't even say a word. He kept all his emotions and feelings buried under his heart.  
Five years, Jaehyun got tired of him.  
He found lovey dovey texts on Jaehyun's phone, that wasn't for him.  
Times Jaehyun spend at home lessens. The amount of tears he hated to shed increases.  
They broke up, he met his mom again living happily without him.  
Until he closes his eyes in Jaehyun's arms.

 

Sorry Jaehyun ah, but I don't want to love you anymore.


	2. Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this super super late sequel !!!

The doors of the lift slide opens, revealing doyoung whose still in a daze to the overly bright hospital corridor, still hoping it isn't real, its not Taeyong. Call him selfish, but he hopes its anybody else in this world, just not Taeyong. 

The slight pungent smell did nothing helping him to clear his mind. Until Jaehyun appears in his vision, he suddenly can't bring his legs to step forward anymore. Big patches of blood red stains on the fabric pricks Doyoung's eyes. 

"Yea it doesn't make sense that a trash like me is saying things like that because you are supposed to be the one dumping me."

Doyoung feels blood rushing up his head.

 

What happened to Taeyong?

 

Jaehyun stares blankly at the red light hanging outside the emergency surgery room, tears stained around his eyes.

"I don't want to anymore Jaehyun ah...Mom lied...You all lied...Your dumped me..."

It keeps circling in his mind, Taeyong stubbornly shaking his head and mumbling even when his mouth was filled with blood. No, it shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't. How can Taeyong do this to him. How can he still insists to reject him even when being in such pain. How can he just closes his eyes in his arms like this. Why did he suddenly mentioned his mom, why? He curls himself up on the chair in the silent hallway, trying to find a hint of warmth for his freezing heart.

Hyung, just don't leave me, please.

 

A pair of legs walks into his vision of the sickening pure white wall. He looks up soullessly.  
"Hyung..." Jaehyun mumbles weakly.  
"What happened?" Doyoung asks the chisselled man in front of him.  
"Tell me." His voice trembled.

"After work, I walked to the bus station as usual. But I heard loud banging sounds and screams on my way."  
"So I went over to take a look, it...it was Taeyong hyung." Jaehyun buries both his hands in his hair, recalling the traumatic moment. 

He suddenly stands up and points at the thin boy sitting alone at the other side of the chairs.  
"Its him! Because of him, hyung ran over the road and got knocked by the car! To save him! Can you believe it? Taeyong hyung is crazy!" Jaehyun shouts, eyes filled with blood vessels, body tensed up. The boy trembles in fear after getting yelled at, eyes filled with tears. 

"I'm sorry. So sorry, really sorry, I don't know what can I do." The boy mumbles in tears, choking up his apology while bowing deeply multiple times.  
Doyoung sighs at the sight of the young boy, then drags Jaehyun away from the hallway. 

 

Doyoung releases his hands off Jaehyun after reaching the outdoor space in the hospital with cold wind slapping hard on their faces.

"Jung Jaehyun, do you think I'm stupid or are you that dumb?"

"Taeyong hyung has hemophilia, don't you know? Or do you think he doesn't know himself?"  
Jaehyun wants to argues back, but he realizes he can't manage to find any words nor say anything. 

"To save a boy he doesn't even know, getting knocked by a car when he has hemophilia?"  
"Just think about the amount of bleeding that will occur after being knocked by the car, and his body doesn't even have proper self blood clotting ability. You think it makes sense, Jung Jaehyun?" Doyoung smiles bitterly and continues.

"He didn't want to live anymore."  
Jaehyun violently shakes his head.  
"No! No its not. Its impossible! Its not! " 

Darkness slowly clouds in Doyoung's eyes.  
"Are you that naive?"  
Doyoung laughs histerically until tears choke him up.  
"After all these years, you still don't know how Taeyong is?" He takes a step closer towards Jaehyun.

Thousands of thoughts attack his brain, his head hurts, Jaehyun manages to ask, "Why?"

"Why? You tell me. Why did he suddenly call me to tell me not to be friends anymore? Why did he refer himself as trash that's supposed to be the one being dumped instead? You are the only one who could have done this to Taeyong. Why don't you fucking tell me?" 

Jaehyun drops on the floor, shaking his head furiously.  
"No no its not..its not...no.. its not.." he mumbles repetitively.  
Doyoung grabs Jaehyun up holding his collar, fingers squeezing hard on the fabric in his hand.  
"You thought I was kidding when I told you not to go a step near Taeyong if you can't guarantee not to ever hurt him?"  
"Impossible...no its not because of me..its not.."

Jaehyun suddenly cracks an ugly smile holding up his head to look at Doyoung.  
"Hyung, do you know? When I fought with him, he never said a word. Even when I'm obviously at fault."

"Whenever I slammed the door and walked away, not even once, he came to find me. Not even a text."

"I did all kind of ridiculous things, I hid the ring I bought him and told him I threw it away. Hyung, he just, walked away. "

"I felt like nothing to him. I felt like a childish whiny kid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading once again and those comments were so so sweet, thank you so so much ♡♡. I really hope I didnt ruin this entire story. After all, i still cant leave the story at simply jaehyun cheating on taeyong cuz taeyong deserves so much love. I might continue this to give this story a "real ending" but it might take another 20 years lol


	3. Why part2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so so sorry I just realized how dumb i was just now, this wasnt supposed to be another chapter, I didn't notice that the previous chapter wasn't fully pasted, and somehow I missed it when checking before posting. Sorry TT

"I cheated, and I did it painfully obvious to make sure he knows."

"He still, didn't even mention a word about it, not even once."

"I slept in my office just to go back in dawn and change for work."

"Even when he was obviously awake, he did not even nudge at all."

Doyoung couldn't bear it anymore and throws a punch over Jaehyun's face. 

"Bastard. How can you." He sputtered through gritted teeth, his lanky figure shaking in anger.

Jaehyun tastes the blood that's seeping out from his gums, his mind recalling Taeyong lying in his arms, smiling weakly to him, lips and teeth stained in blood. Blood tastes so disgustingly bad, like rusted metal, but his Taeyong hyung that only likes sweet things, his mouth was full of blood. He swallowed the blood in his mouth.

"We broke up this morning. I asked to. Hyung, I mustered up all of my courage to. It was so hard, but I said it."

"I didn't expect Taeyong to refuse me, but at least, he would have said something right? Or at least, curse me for being an asshole?"

"Just one question, or one doubt I would have said I regretted that. I want to continue be with him. I love him, so much."

"But even then, he only replied me Oh." 

"I waited."

"He finally said something, he said he would pack up, without even looking at me."

"I was so dumbfounded I had to leave excusing I had a meeting. I felt like a clown. Acting all on my own, acting like a total asshole, but he won't even land his eyes on me for one second. "

"Pathethicly I told myself, just one look, one word from Taeyong, I would ask or even beg him to stay."

"Every single step I walked towards the door, it got more and more difficult."

"He didn't."

"Standing outside the door, I still regretted, I wanted to walk in again."

"But I was acting craven. Afraid that I won't be able to change anything. "

"Hyung, just how, is it possible, its because of me when I'm this kind of existence to him?" 

Doyoung slowly loosens his fist at the sight of tears silently rolling down Jaehyun's cheeks.  
He sits down next to him.

"You don't know." He says softly, looking up to the inky dark sky.

"You don't know, how did we grow up. This is the biggest gap between you and Taeyong. 

"Unlike you, who grew up showered in love and a proper family. Taeyong didn't, so did I."

"But I was luckier. Ever since I knew or remember, I was in the orphanage. In my memory, the orphanage was my one and only home. "

"Do you know? Taeyong wasn't like this. He wasn't like this when I first met him. He was bright and playful, just like any other kids, just like us."

"When I first met him, his mom left him at the orphanage."

Jaehyun stiffens up.

"I asked him, why did his mom ditched him here. He denied strongly and cried at my teasing but insisted his mom will be back to bring him home."

"One day, a week, a month, one year, five years, ten years. His mom never came back".

"He never told me..." Jaehyun murmurs.

"With my own eyes, I witnessed how his determination faded, how he stopped smiling and laughing as days passed, how he kept quiet within all the insults and hurt thrown towards him, how he became more and more withdrawn."

"Jaehyun ah, you didn't know how an orphanage were like right?"

"Its a place to live, with no warmth, no attention, no love. The only person we had was each other."

"Taeyong hyung, really attractive right?" 

"Just if, he's from a normal family, he would have easily been the popular guy in school."

"He's not, his face only brought him troubles. Dirty words and humiliation that you can never relate to. " 

"What a pretty bitch."

"Too bad, I'm not gay, or I would have gladly fucked your pretty lil face." 

Doyoung recalls, closing his eyes, Jaehyun buries his fingernails deep into his flesh until blood stains his nails. Hot tears and pain flowing in both pairs of eyes.

"Why?" Jaehyun mumbles.  
"Why did he never told me." He whispers.  
"Wh...y?" He clutches tight on Doyoung's shirt and starts sobbing.

"Inferiority." 

"Kids like you, are really dazzling, always surrounded by a positive radiance, confident and reckless. Even for me, ever since the first time, I could easily felt the contrast between you and me."

"Because we fear feeling more miserable than we already are." 

"Because, the only thing he wanted from you is love, not sympathy, pity, or even a slight hint of sorry."

Doyoung recalls what Taeyong said when he asked him why didn't he tell Jaehyun.  
"Our Jaehyun is too soft hearted. But Doyoung ah, I don't want to be so pitiful in his eyes." 

"You think Taeyong doesn't loves you as you do?"

"But he smiled the most when he was with you, he stopped covering his eyes with bangs, he looked geniunely happy to me for the first time and finally more like a human. " 

"I thought, you could save him from the hell he've been. But nope, you only pushed him down further."

"He never said it out, but I knew, in his mind, he always had the thought that just if he was more obedient, just if he never cried or asked for anything, just if he could just stay still, his mom wouldn't have dumped him." 

"Keeping quiet for everything weren't a sign of not minding, but the natural instinct of fear. "

"You kept testing his boundaries but I could tell you loud and clear, his last line drawn was you leaving him."

"Taeyong hyung who protected and locked himself up for 20 years, how did you make him accept the betrayal he hated and feared the most in his life without a word."

"Jaehyun you, were this kind of existence to Taeyong hyung. But I won't allow it anymore. I was an idiot to believe god decided to be kind to Taeyong hyung, I dumbly trusted you could give him happiness forgetting that your belong to a total different world."  
Doyoung walks away with his final sentence leaving Jaehyun alone on the cold floor. 

Jaehyun holds his aching dizzy head in despair. Every word from Doyoung repeats in his brain like a curse squashing his head. He smashes his fist on the floor again and again. But other than the dreadful feeling in his heart, everything else feels numb. 

 

After much hesitation, Doyoung still walks out the automatic door back to where he brought Jaehyun to. Approaching there, only a lean figure with blood stained shirt was found laying unconsciously on the floor. Doyoung internally swears to himself while hurriedly holding up Jaehyun who fainted and run towards the ward carrying him on his back. He notices the bloody pair of hands hanging beside both sides of his shoulders and speeds up his steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!♡♡♡ And i really really appreciate the comments♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading !! I dont know what did I do tho. Please tell me your thoughts about this. I might come back with a sequel.


End file.
